2 out of 3 Ain't Bad?

Bob's driving the minivan with the whole family and passes a parked Dodge Omni. He tells me that is his old car. This happens more often than you'd think- the boy has went through a few cars in his day. I can't remember the last time he went to the doctor, but I can think of 5 cars he's owned just since Piper was born. I ask if he just recognized it, has talked to the owner, or what. I even have the audacity to ask where we were living when he sold it. He seriously acts incredulous that I can't remember which of the 3 cities in 6 years we were in when this car (one of a series of 3 pale blue cars he drove) left our life. My response- tell me all the girls' birthdates. He got 2 of the 3.

BaBa ba-bye!

I just freed up some time in my arduous schedule... No more washing bottles or diapers! I mean I'm still washing urine soaked clothes on occasion because the shiny newness of potty training has already disappeared, which makes sitting on a potty less fun. The bigger change - the one that whispers you don't have any babies anymore - is Piper is off the bottle. I had been waiting for her bottle to just no longer function (there's been a hole in this last nipple for months) so I don't have to be the bad guy. But, just like her sisters, she was a bit bottle obsessed. Her drinking habit had her leaking through night diapers & wool covers onto full sized sheets, and I had to say enough. My these-ugly-scarred-boobs-that-don't-let-me-breastfeed guilt would get the best of me & I would put off yanking the bottle. Usually, I would only commit to one change at a time (and our address & family size have changed 3 times in like 4 years). So with Piper's potty training & traveling in November, this bottle taking has been pushed back a couple months. It's pretty similar timing for when I weaned Macy. Claire was an embarrassing 2 1/2+ when I finally pried the bottle from her sweet little paws. Not that new mothers are clamoring for my advice, but it is a bit worse when your child says to you(last night), "no water. bottle milk." I had told myself I had to do this sooner this time around. I didn't. But it really feels like I have kids, not babies. Sniff. I'm going have to go back to work one of these years. Ugh.

I just assumed there was something wrong with you.

Another school year, another weepy Nicole. So, Claire is off to 5K this year. I am THRILLED - so, happy in that be-careful-not-to-complain-about-child-in-front-of-friends-with-fertility-issues way. Claire will be gone all.day.long (if I could kick my heels I would)!!! She will get home around the same time as Bob! No refereeing sibling fights, because she is involved in all of them! Piper & Macy (knock on wood) don't fight! I try to be cool, but inside I have been counting down all August for special day. And, I'm not the jerk, Claire loves other kids and really liked school last year. So, why, oh why, do I go to her Open House to drop off school supplies & meet the teacher (sweet, very much like every elementary teacher I have ever met)and get all teary? This poor, sweet teacher lady thinks I am anxious to leave her (hell, no, I woulda left her that night for a couple hours had it been an option!)or that Claire is anxious (she is probably as pumped as me for different reasons). I am so teary this woman assumed something, like allergies, is wrong with me. I should have said I have allergies. This is rather counter to my personality, but what can I say, weddings and school children just make me cry. With joy.

Hospital Corners

Over the Memorial Day holiday I got to thinking about the men in uniform. How does the military get men to make a bed? I don't like making beds, but I love fresh sheets. I begged off this task pregnant, but I need to put sheets on the bed outside the evenings when Bob's around for delegation. This weekend the morning before people were coming over Claire had had a nighttime accident. She managed to get urine on her pillow. This seemed like a Bob job. Claire's bed is a double. He somehow managed to squeeze twin sized sheets on the bed. He claims they were the only ones he could find. Granted, they were the only set in the laundry basket. He didn't even check the linen closet. I had him take them off. He put king sized sheets on next. Seriously? I wasn't even mad just flabbergasted.

Bad Cop

Bob totally has a work wife. I'm not jealous. I just feel sorry for her (pregnant too - God bless her). For most hours of the day Bob's partner is a another man named Bob. Other Bob is a red-headed caricature of my Bob -- more laid back, hairier, larger and so unkempt he makes my Bob appear professionally dressed! It seems the Bobs are able to handle the emotionally behavior disordered students because they are laid back to the extreme. Their office (with taxidermied decorataions) is a sty.The other Bob used to be a cop. I'm gonna guess he played "good cop" and lived that cops in a donut shop stereotype... One hour out of the day, Bob is with his other wife. She is apparently the yin to his yang. She likes paperwork! She thinks the students need more structure and has all these things she learned in school about how to do it. Bob admitted she's bad cop & he's good cop. I responded that must be a familiar role for Bob. So last night I was grumbling about him making the girls put away the water toys when they get out of the hot tub (which fun dad took them in). Nothing screams bad cop like "pick up your toys after having all that fun with your dad!" Then I was all complaining about always being bad cop- and he had the nerve to say "I wouldn't have to be good cop if you weren't such a bad bad cop"

Let it all hang out

You know that desire to take off your bra after a long day at the office? Macy's kinda got that but with leggings. She goes to playschool (1 hour) in leggings (because the boss makes her), comes home and discards them on the bathroom floor first chance she gets.Can't say I blame her.

Happy birthday, have a flame

So we had some cake for Piper's birthday. I jokingly said "blow out your candle " since its not one of tricks. And she made adorable little blowing sounds. So I turned to grab the Flip, and she extinguished the flame by pinching it. We all waited for the tears, and nothing. So, I felt like the worst parent ever followed by concern she might not have nerve endings in her fingers...