BaBa ba-bye!

I just freed up some time in my arduous schedule... No more washing bottles or diapers! I mean I'm still washing urine soaked clothes on occasion because the shiny newness of potty training has already disappeared, which makes sitting on a potty less fun. The bigger change - the one that whispers you don't have any babies anymore - is Piper is off the bottle. I had been waiting for her bottle to just no longer function (there's been a hole in this last nipple for months) so I don't have to be the bad guy. But, just like her sisters, she was a bit bottle obsessed. Her drinking habit had her leaking through night diapers & wool covers onto full sized sheets, and I had to say enough. My these-ugly-scarred-boobs-that-don't-let-me-breastfeed guilt would get the best of me & I would put off yanking the bottle. Usually, I would only commit to one change at a time (and our address & family size have changed 3 times in like 4 years). So with Piper's potty training & traveling in November, this bottle taking has been pushed back a couple months. It's pretty similar timing for when I weaned Macy. Claire was an embarrassing 2 1/2+ when I finally pried the bottle from her sweet little paws. Not that new mothers are clamoring for my advice, but it is a bit worse when your child says to you(last night), "no water. bottle milk." I had told myself I had to do this sooner this time around. I didn't. But it really feels like I have kids, not babies. Sniff. I'm going have to go back to work one of these years. Ugh.

Happy birthday, have a flame

So we had some cake for Piper's birthday. I jokingly said "blow out your candle " since its not one of tricks. And she made adorable little blowing sounds. So I turned to grab the Flip, and she extinguished the flame by pinching it. We all waited for the tears, and nothing. So, I felt like the worst parent ever followed by concern she might not have nerve endings in her fingers...

It's All a Matter of Perspective

I found it quite adorable this week when we were waiting for Claire's bus and Piper and Macy were snuggled up on the dog bed. Lincoln found it less than adorable, I'm sure.

It's all about perspective. When I was childless, I declared myself not a baby person. I thought older kids with their inquisitiveness & their active lifestyles seemed much my speed than needy, non-communicative babies. Now, I am firmly in the "baby person" camp. Incessant questions, no thanks. Sassy four year olds, I'll pass. Today I drove the car while answering questions like, "what if there were two suns? Three suns? No sun?" I wanted to scream, "shut up, let me listen to NPR!!!"


My favorite stage is the sitting up independently through cruising, but I am open to newborn through walking. This is problematic in that I am getting near the end of babies. I visited my neighbor's newborn this week. How cute are babies? How easy is it to walk around carrying 7#?!? I did cherish my babies as babies, but I never understood society's love of babies. I used to get so offended when someone would comment how cute my baby was in front of a toddler- or ask how old the infant was. I used to be snarky and respond with the older daughter's age.This week Macy & Piper were in the cart when a cashier commented how cute she was. She then recovered saying they were both cute, but I wantsome gush, "I know isn't Piper adorable! " I get it, society, little babies are cute. I just needed some perspective.

Lazy Bones

I have a rule that I won't "retire" a too small outfit if I already took the effort to get it on a girl. Piper's 18 month shirt is so ill-fitting (picture an overweight high schooler who insists on wearing a shirt that's in rather than something that looks good on her) that I almost wanted to break my self-imposed rule. It is especially amusing given the style of the shirt with the little jackety type top with belly bursting beneath it.

Piper is pretty hilarious so I feel like we're laughing with her not at her. She likes to stand up and kinda shake her rear to show-off. I think she does it just to be funny. And poured into this shirt, she's funny for sure.

She's a mover & a shaker (but a bit of a crier)

She can't crawl. She can't walk. But, she managed to scoot over to the dog's waterbowl (which is in desperate need of a cleaning).

The days this week have been filled with her getting in position to crawl with one troublesome leg caught under her. Then, she cries. If you push the leg out to crawling position, she cries. If you put her back to sitting upright, she cries and then repeats. If you leave her to figure it out, she cries. I hate to make predictions. Well, actually, I just hate to be wrong about predictions. But, daresay, I think she might crawl soon.

I should be used to this, but dang, they seem to just grown up so fast. Today she clapped at Claire's school fair when other kids were clapping. It was so cute. Earlier this week I was raking with her in the Beco, and I thought "this will be easier when I can carry her on my back." Then, I remembered ,she isn't a baby and she has contentedly been in the back carry position all week. Sniff.

United

They were fighting over chocolate milk. Not real chocolate milk, mind you. Imaginary chocolate milk, and it was before real breakfast. They were at early this morning. Macy had a dish of the imaginary good stuff, and Claire claimed to drink it all. We really can't be sure since imaginary milk is hard to see.

Then, they both took toys from the immobile baby who proceeded to cry and look towards me to get it back. So that's how it's going to be, Piper? You're not going to learn to crawl or walk? You're going to wait for your Mom to swoop in retrieve your treasured items? You know if we go that route, they aren't going to like you. They're going to think you're getting preferential treatment. They might just gang up on you.

They're already ganging up on me. Claire and Macy were continuing to bicker over the coveted (imaginary) chocolate milk dish at breakfast and reaching over their place mats. I was desperately trying to get some coffee made and spilled the coffee beans all over the floor (near the baby who likes to put leaves in her mouth). Claire said, "Ha! WE don't have to help you with that! Me and Macy didn't spill it, you did! So, YOU have to clean it up, WE don't." So now they're buddies all of a sudden?

I suppose, despite how different my brother and I are, we sure like to talk about the antics of our parents...

7 months, 1 tooth

In honor of Piper's 7 months on the planet, she sprang a bottom tooth yesterday. Claire's so excited you'd think she's pulled it out of Piper's gums for her. The enthusiasm is pretty cute. In honor of her special anniversary, I am going to Happy Hour on Wednesday. Not really for that reason, it just ended up that way. Piper needs some Dada time, anyway. She was pulling that MaMa preference stuff the other day. I got a middle child that has a strong one of those, it loses its cuteness rather quickly. I prefer the I'll-take-whichever-of-you-has-a-free-hand-whenever-you-can-get-here over the MaMa-NOW crap. Hopefully, the tooth's arrival was the reason. More likely, it was her father being gone for too long buying something he doesn't need.

Poor Macy doesn't see, sure he still lives here. Saturday Macy surprisingly said to him, "oh, I didn't know you'd still be here" when we returned from the grocery store.

Get on the bus, Gus!

Early last week Claire missed her bus. This wasn't the morning she woke me up 10 minutes before pick-up time. No, I'd been up for about an hour nagging her to put on her previously selected outfit & shoes. It was perfect, I nagged her down to the front door in time for her to watch the bus pull off without her. I'm not sure she believed my, "you're going to miss your bus" until she saw those red lights through her tears.

I'm not saying I like to see her cry (and because the rest of us were actually dressed we walked to school and got there before school started anyway), but I feel like the incident was perfect for my street cred and her learning a natural consequence.


Now, I have her glued to the window 20 minutes before pick-up. This morning was Donuts with Dad (well, in Claire's case with Bumpa). Nothing is getting between this girl and her donut! When she had to turn away from the window she delegated bus watching to her sister.



Now, if I could just find a way to communicate to Piper I just clean her up because I don't want her neck to smell like a gym bag, not because I'm a jerk.

Red Hot Cinnamon Dot

Red Hot Cinnamon Dot is my nice title for a blog post titled in my mind "Fricking Livid" (but since my 4 year old said 'fricking' yesterday I'm trying to use nicer words until I'm sure one of them pisses me off). Plus, I'm not even livid anymore since I told my husband I was mad, and he apologized. It was all very civilized and adult of us.

Last weekend Piper had her 6 month photos taken. The big girls came along to get one quick Christmas card picture. Seeing as Macy was in some mood where she wanted to shut one eye to be funny, I wasn't very optimistic about the outcome. Plus, in telling a friend about the photographer I learned after the fact that her rates went up like 33%! I had taken the girls solo to the photographer since Bob was dirt biking. That wasn't a big deal since it was morning.

I was overjoyed when I got the pictures, because I loved them. I was pleasantly surprised that there was one picture where ALL THREE of my girls looked good, at the camera. I was trying to share my joy with my husband, but he didn't think they were real enough. (Next year, a picture of Claire picking her nose, Macy eating toast, and me washing dishes while holding a baby?). Then, he said that he wished there was at least one picture where Piper wasn't wearing "that flower thing" in her hair.

"That flower thing" ?!? The night before the pictures while Bob was running around in preparation for his dirt bike trip (to which he forgot to bring a change of warm clothes, some preparation). I engaged him in a conversation about "flower things." Did they distract from the baby? Would it be a good match for the picture of Macy on the wall where she has the crochet hat and a flower? I am not really a flower person; I really wasn't pushing one way or the other. I ended up going to the mall. I hate the mall. Since little girls tend to wear pink, finding a black and gold "flower thing" wasn't an easy feat. I had to go to multiple stores. It was a terrible way to spend kid-free time. I was in at least two kids store that sold bra-lettes to CHILDREN. It was depressing.

I was less than pleased when Bob commented disapprovingly of the "flower thing" because if he didn't like them, this should have been said before the shopping trip.

But, Bob apologized. He said all the right things. He said he needs to listen better, and I didn't say, "Damn right you do!" because I also need to work on being less bitchy. Plus, in the grand scheme, thank God my life is so good I'm worried about my husband's reaction to a flower. Some high school and college acquaintances recently have had three pound babies and have to go visit them at the hospital. A woman who lived down the hall in my dorm freshman year has cancer. I'm part of a 24/7 prayer vigil for her today (my kids have to be good from noon-one today!!) I truly have nothing to complain about.

Seriously, Piper is so stinking cute with or without a flower.

You got a tick in your ear?

How is it that I can hear Piper crying from the main level when Bob sleeping in the same room about 3 feet from her snores through it? He is pretty tired from riding his little dirt bike around all weekend...

River of tears, still flowing

This morning waiting for the bus for Claire's second day of school I still cried, but I think it was less than yesterday, YES! By the end of the week I just might be able to put Claire on the bus without crying.

Claire and Macy were fighting and refusing to eat their Cream of Wheat. I was so ready to put her on that bus. I didn't expect the tears. I am often in denial about my sappiness, though. I have said, "I don't think I am going to cry at this wedding" and been wrong more than once...

Cry Baby

Screening for 4K last Spring. Cried.

Meet the teacher last week. Cried.

Bus pick-up this morning. Cried.

Picking her up from school. Cried.

My friend Tina is not wrong. I am "a bit of a sap". She blames our baby hormones (since her baby is 3 months older than Piper, I have a few months left with this rationale). More likely, we're both a bunch of saps...

3 in 3

Claire's almost 4. Besides her going off to 4K (sniff, sniff), I will have stop saying my "I have three kids three & under" tagline, or will I?





At church this week a grandmotherly woman told me she had "6 kids in 6 years". Touche, old lady you have doubled me. I was thinking, I could start saying I had three kids in three years. Nice ring to it. I am not sure what this will get me, a medal, or say, a job when Piper's off to school? Probably not.

It got me thinking that mommy bragging seems to have no expiration date. I can't decide if it's really annoying (more likely), or if these bragging rights are justified. When I was in labor with Piper the woman admitting me told me she had some 4, 5, 6 children all natural births without meds. I didn't have much to respond because I wasn't really in the chatty mood and was about to have my third child sans epidural on her chair. (She was darn fast, though.) But after the fact I wondered if her colleagues in admission get sick of her telling every laboring woman that. I liked the you can do it attitude, but are her co-workers like, "your kids are 40, shut up!"

So in the spirit of bragging, I found a different yogurt recipe, and I rocked it. My kids love it more than Stonyfield (probably because they get to add honey...) Well, the recipe is from my friend Amy who pretty much has my family plus twins. So, maybe my fear with bragging should also be, there always some woman with more kids doing more!

Unless the girls turn out to be doctors like they say, then I will brag. But, I might be getting ahead of myself since Claire might be a farmer, life guard or a doctor.

For the love of God, please be nice to your sister!

It's been a rough week for me at Chateau Lemke. I got a urinary tract infection. Yeah, too much information, I know. But seriously, haven't I been through enough? In the spirit of TMI, the hemorrhoids from pushing out the 9 pound 3 ounce baby haven't been healed long enough for this to be fair. On top of that, after 5 weeks on a 1,500 calorie diet I have lost one pound. They have ruled out a thyroid problem. The doctor recommended 1,200 calories a day. Someone needs to invent calorie-free beer.

But, the saddest thing of my week was when Claire was mean to her sister. Sure, they bicker over toys incessantly. I am used to this. But, Claire started summer school this week. Maybe that change is throwing her off a bit. I got a glimpse of her nastiness earlier in the week when she was playing with the Nursing Nina cat. Mama cat has magnetic nipples and three little kittens that latch on. Claire had a random orange cat not part of the set. She was telling me the Mama was the Mama, the baby was the baby, and she kind of wondered what the orange cat was. I suggested the orange cat was the older sister. She liked this idea. And then proceeded to have the big sister cat drink all the mama's milk and laugh & tease the baby that she drank all the milk. I don't think you need to be a psychologist to read into that a bit...

So later in the week it's bedtime. Our typical routine of late is Bob puts Claire to bed, and I put Macy to bed at the same time. Claire asked for me. So, I suggested, well, let's read our books together and then separate. Macy loved this idea; Claire not so much. By then, Claire decided she wanted just Bob to read to her and Macy was not invited. Macy was devastated. Sometimes, I think she cries about something when tired and forgets what she is crying about. Not this. She was inconsolable. She was sitting on the rug outside Claire's door crying, crying, crying. She could not be distracted or redirected. Finally, Bob talked Claire into letting Macy in

for the second book - probably because Claire couldn't hear the story over the wailing. Macy was so happy. She hopped into Claire's bed, was all smiles. After the book, she told Claire she loved her and kissed her. Claire didn't reciprocate. It broke my heart seeing Macy swoon all over Claire, and Claire be a jerk. I can't force her to be nice. I just need to keep being nice for an example, but, it's not easy when she acts like a major a-hole.

Macy will be ok. I don't think she noticed the cold shoulder treatment. She was just pumped to read one story with her big sister. And, I have a feeling a little someone will be looking up to Macy with the same reverence....

We're blowing her mind

The other day I went to a local babywear's group meeting. Piper is a big one, and she only likes to face outwards when awake. She will face in when sleeping, but she is sleeping less and less. I wanted to see what other options might be out there. I had heard bad things about the crotch dangler baby carriers, but I had thought it was all physical. (and seriously how much time would a kid be in a Bjorn to have such effects?). A woman told me there is some argument that babies shouldn't face out because it is too much stimuli. I felt like a freak (already a pariah with my bottle), but I swear Piper likes to look out at her sisters. Piper is smiling. I can't read minds, but she seems quite happy, I swear.





The woman equated facing outward (rather than at my sweaty cleavage) to a newborn watching television. The infant can't process the images. I wasn't sure I was buying it, but was I wrong? This hippy had a pretty mellow and happy baby... Surprisingly, Bob was the voice of reason on this when I reported back. He said something to the effect of, "it's not like your sprinting through a fun house, it's life she is looking at!"





Either way, I'm pretty sure she is too little to be pushed on her outside swing. That's probably blowing her mind, but, man, everyone got a kick out of it...

Boo-hoo Cry Pants

Apparently, my body has not got the memo that I am not pregnant. Seems odd it wouldn't remember pushing out a 9 lb 3 ounce baby about 3 months ago....

But, my body insists on storing fat, especially in the front, and I have been crying over some dumb things (you know, occasions where only overly-emotional or pregnant women would tear up). At church on Sunday I was tearing up during confirmation. You know, the long church service where most non-hormonal people would be checking their watches annoyed at the extended service. I didn't know the name of a single kid up there, but I was wiping tears out of my eyes. Look them, all grown up, getting confirmed.

Yesterday, Claire started summer school. Open the floodgates.

At naptime, Macy was taking off her sandals to get into her bed. I was holding Piper above her. Piper puked on her hair and arm. I thought it was hilarious. I bust into Claire's room to tell Bob about it. He said it was not funny but rather gross. Apparently, I am a stark raving mad lunatic because I am laughing like a hyena. Bob is looking at me like I am certifiable for interrupting his story for that nugget.

Seriously, this can not be the new me. This emotional crap should wear off after 3 months, though, right?

Is fat the new skinny?

I wish 33 year olds looked this cute with chubby arms. The next person who tells me how the weight just "fell off" due to breastfeeding, might see my not-so-cute chubby arms around their neck...

Piper Piggy

I typically avoid the pitfall of comparing my kids to other people's kids. Growth percentile charts, who cares? My bad-parent mistake is comparing them to each other (I am the dog-parent who used to declare a Dog of the Day, oh so tempting to have a Daughter of the Day, but those pesky parenting books say, no!)

Our Piper Piggy had her 2 month today and weighed in at 13 1/2 pounds (95th percentile for those who care). She has the fattest thighs. Adorable!

So, after writing it in her baby book, I did what I always do. I got out her sisters' baby books to see what they weighed, duh. Piper is 2 pounds heavier than Macy was and 2 1/4 bigger than Claire!

I gotta stop comparing them, but man, two pounds is like 15%. Seems a lot on a baby's 23 inch frame!! We also should stop calling her Piper Piggy at some point, too, probably...

Slowly, put down the baby....

I tend to forget things didn't work with one kid might work with the others. Last week as I was struggling to hang up the diapers with one hand with an unhappy Piper, I weighed it out in my head and figured I would be faster with two hands, and the less cruel option was to set her down for a short amount of time even if she was upset. The big girls weren't real fans of the swing, but I have it as my downstairs option. I set her down in the shade a voila, she was perfectly content watching the laundry in the wind (I'm sure my neighbors are less amused...)

Are lists no longer vogue?

You know, I don't get e-mail forwards anymore. Are they no longer circulating? Has it lost its allure now that the sender can't send questionable material to a "work" e-mail? There is no shortage of Facebook garbage, but it doesn't seem to be the lists anymore. I don't think I would go so far as to say I miss it. Just nostalgic for the:

>>>>1.

So, I am making my own list of ways my family messes with me:

1. Babies pooping right after a bath. C'mon, Piper, I just cleaned out all those crevices, must you fill it with runny baby poo? Usually, it is a as Bob would say an "ass-plosion."
2. Pooping right after I changed the garbage can or cleaned the diaper pail.
3. Forgetting how to swallow, right after I have changed your clothes. Do you like milk in your neck, Piper? Does a damp spot on your sleeper remind you of the wet womb?
4. Showing interest in sitting on the toilet only at nap and bedtime. Guilty, Macy. Yeah, you're cute, but this is not cute.
5. Deciding you want in the house at inopportune times. Kids in bathtub? Settling down for a nap? Bark, Bark, that sounds like Lincoln's bark. Crap.