I just assumed there was something wrong with you.

Another school year, another weepy Nicole. So, Claire is off to 5K this year. I am THRILLED - so, happy in that be-careful-not-to-complain-about-child-in-front-of-friends-with-fertility-issues way. Claire will be gone all.day.long (if I could kick my heels I would)!!! She will get home around the same time as Bob! No refereeing sibling fights, because she is involved in all of them! Piper & Macy (knock on wood) don't fight! I try to be cool, but inside I have been counting down all August for special day. And, I'm not the jerk, Claire loves other kids and really liked school last year. So, why, oh why, do I go to her Open House to drop off school supplies & meet the teacher (sweet, very much like every elementary teacher I have ever met)and get all teary? This poor, sweet teacher lady thinks I am anxious to leave her (hell, no, I woulda left her that night for a couple hours had it been an option!)or that Claire is anxious (she is probably as pumped as me for different reasons). I am so teary this woman assumed something, like allergies, is wrong with me. I should have said I have allergies. This is rather counter to my personality, but what can I say, weddings and school children just make me cry. With joy.

Meow

Hortonville had the sterotypical "cat lady". You know, disheveled appearance with ratty hair, paper bags full of God knows what, and cats- lots of cats. The people in the village quite creatively called her Cat Lady.

Not to speak disparagingly about mentally illness, but young kids in my experience seem to act like Cat Lady. Macy tends to haul around animals. Claire has illegible scribbles that only she can "read". She insists on having my junk mail to carry around. Lord knows, they both despise any semblance of organization I attempt to impose. Why would the toy food go in the play kitchen? They love to take actual bags and fill them with random stuff. I find the canvas library bag full of dolls, a train track, a headless barbie, a lamp from the dollhouse, toy fruit, someone's underwear and the Tablespoon from the real kitchen.

Maybe just my kids are going to be crazy cat lady sisters...

Happiness from within

As a mother of daughters I always want my girls to learn to find happiness from within. I just don't want them to depend on the approval of others (male or female) to feel good. And Claire. & Macy are at such a great age right now in regards to self-confidence:

"I'm beautiful!"
"Watch me dance"
"I did a really good job"

Generally, I'm pretty happy. And, that's probably because I have a lot to be grateful for with three healthy kids, no fertility struggles. But realistically I'm rather mediocre. We're not rich, but we are without financial struggles. I'm overweight but in excellent physical health. I can run, but I don't set any speed records. But, I am generally pretty happy, and I really want my kids to be happy. And nice to each other. For the love of God, be kind to your sisters. I want to give them opportunities, but not every little thing they want. I am always the bad cop around here. They better like me, too!

Maternity Test

Claire is a mini-me. Piper is Bob in pink. Macy looks like no one. Blue eyes? Constantly eats, skinny little thing?

If I didn't recall her labor (hardest of the the three), I might wonder if she's mine! She is generally fine being bossed around by Claire. Last weekend my mom had the big girls, and Claire took a toy from Macy. My mom told Claire that this might make Macy sad. Macy asked if she promised not to be sad, if Claire could keep it. Mind you, she's smart as a whip and not a pushover. Her tolerance of Claire's constant micro-managing is enviable and not a trait passed down from her mother.

But what floors me the most is her preference to play indoors, alone. Unseasonably warm day this week, I offered a walk before naptime. No thanks, rather sleep. SLEEP?!? Most times when Claire, Piper and I go outside, she will play alone indoors which means I'm stuck hanging out by the window. At the beach she'll often chose to play in the sand over water. Sand is so sandy!

Claire gets up and wants to know where we're going. If we're not going anywhere (school isn't enough anymore?), it's who is coming over? I was hitting the library story hour circuit pretty hard last year to appease her appetite for people & adventures. This year Macy has asked once to go to the Neenah library. I was happy to oblige, but I was caught so off guard. I would have showered or chosen my clothes with more care since Neenah seems to be the fancy library!

Macy is so often in her own little world Claire even knows we call it La La land. She's an absolute hoot, everything in the past was "yesterday". She's probably spent more time with her head in the clouds at 2 1/2 than I have at 33.

It might help the whole mother-daughter relations to be so different, but most days I think, how are we related?

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

"I win!"



(Claire and Macy's standard exclamation after walking down the stairs/getting dressed/finishing a meal)






"It's not a contest!"



(my standard response especially to a meal-eating race)







I had been wondering, where do they get this competitiveness from? Is it because Claire's in school now? I certainly don't pit them against one another. And Bob might be the least competitive person I know.







I remember being so competitive with my brother. I thought it was because he was so into sports and had a competitive personality and that we were 14 months apart in age.







I am beginning to think it's some genetic survival mechanism. We are just competitive people, and I created more competitive babies.







I came to this last night when I stepped out for a quick run and was walking with this internal dialogue:







"None of my music is suitable for running"



"Just run. Nicole, you're stalling!"



"I can't start to Jack Johnson. It will just set the tone for a slow run"



"There's not enough daylight left to be so picky, you have already skipped 10 songs"



"Why is this song even on here? It is offering me every slow, sucky song on here"



[Lady runs across the block perpendicular to me]



"You could run faster to Cat Stevens than that lady. And she's skinnier than you, unfair."



"Cat Stevens it is!"







Then, I ran to catch and pass the lady. She had headphones on and didn't hear me coming. There were cars on the street, so I couldn't cross to the other side or get around her. I was stuck behind her going slower than I wanted and thinking this was so not good for my karma. She probably just started running or had a baby. I eventually was able to cross the street and run off ahead. Then, I thought, geez, that lady didn't even hear or see me. I could have been a mugger or a rapist. So, then I was paranoid I should be on high alert for muggers and rapists (though, there's probably no black market for cracked iPods). Or, in the very least, being competitive makes you less aware of what's going on around you and is a bit obsessive.







And that, most certainly, the girls get their competitiveness from me.

Over their heads

This morning in a exasperation and sheer annoyance at watching Claire chase Macy with an imaginary needle, I dove into a talk waaaay above the heads of my 4 and 2 1/2 year olds (albeit smart ones).

Despite spending the vast majority of my time with these shorties, I am not a big baby talker. Half for my own sanity, and half for their language acquisition, I talk to the kids in a semi-adult like manner. (You know, trying to avoid the really bad profanities but not over-the-top goo-goo-ga-ga). Claire talks in third person, so I am trying to get out of the "Mama will do that for you," "Bring that to Mama" habit I have going on.

In our extended family we're exposed to talk from all ends of the spectrum. Ga-ma likes to employ cutesy euphemisms like "potty wotty" and "tinkle winkle". I remember reading some of this motherese is good for kids. Like if you say "doggy" or "kitty" it emphasizes the "G" and "T", and hearing it twice will help kids learn those sounds at the end of word rather than dropping them off. Or, slowing your words per minute helps the kids. However, it's confusing, and this is a total Ga-ma thing, too, to call you toes pigs (because there's nothing porcine about those digits!) . So, we got the baby talk on the Ga-Ma end of things, and the girls think Ga-ma's little phrases are hilarious.

This summer we went to the Wisconsin Historical Society where my brother-in-law and sister-in-law work. The girls' aunt was talking about the fur trader's shack exhibit. She was telling them about the various hats, pelts, and tools. I was having a hard time following, and I think the girls were just wondering if the fur on the wall was a live or dead animal. My thought was, does she remember they're under four?

Back to me this morning, I had the Aunt Beth problem. I dove into an explanation of "informed consent" for medicine. They are always playing doctor. All day. I am usually holding Piper while Claire operates on my foot and takes my blood pressure. So, I'm all, "You can't give a shot unless your patient wants you to and you tell her the risks (like it might hurt), it's called informed consent." Granted sometimes people don't kids enough credit for being able to understand things. This wasn't really the case, it was more of me trying to think of a way not to scream "QUIT CHASING YOUR SISTER WITH THAT DAMN TOY SYRINGE!!!!"

As one might guess, this was over their heads. Bored, they wandered out of the bathroom (yeah!) and went into Claire's room where they established a rule where the doctor would poke the patient and then the patient got to poke the doctor. So, basically, the 1-2-3 poking just doubled, but at least I got my hair did.

United

They were fighting over chocolate milk. Not real chocolate milk, mind you. Imaginary chocolate milk, and it was before real breakfast. They were at early this morning. Macy had a dish of the imaginary good stuff, and Claire claimed to drink it all. We really can't be sure since imaginary milk is hard to see.

Then, they both took toys from the immobile baby who proceeded to cry and look towards me to get it back. So that's how it's going to be, Piper? You're not going to learn to crawl or walk? You're going to wait for your Mom to swoop in retrieve your treasured items? You know if we go that route, they aren't going to like you. They're going to think you're getting preferential treatment. They might just gang up on you.

They're already ganging up on me. Claire and Macy were continuing to bicker over the coveted (imaginary) chocolate milk dish at breakfast and reaching over their place mats. I was desperately trying to get some coffee made and spilled the coffee beans all over the floor (near the baby who likes to put leaves in her mouth). Claire said, "Ha! WE don't have to help you with that! Me and Macy didn't spill it, you did! So, YOU have to clean it up, WE don't." So now they're buddies all of a sudden?

I suppose, despite how different my brother and I are, we sure like to talk about the antics of our parents...

Get on the bus, Gus!

Early last week Claire missed her bus. This wasn't the morning she woke me up 10 minutes before pick-up time. No, I'd been up for about an hour nagging her to put on her previously selected outfit & shoes. It was perfect, I nagged her down to the front door in time for her to watch the bus pull off without her. I'm not sure she believed my, "you're going to miss your bus" until she saw those red lights through her tears.

I'm not saying I like to see her cry (and because the rest of us were actually dressed we walked to school and got there before school started anyway), but I feel like the incident was perfect for my street cred and her learning a natural consequence.


Now, I have her glued to the window 20 minutes before pick-up. This morning was Donuts with Dad (well, in Claire's case with Bumpa). Nothing is getting between this girl and her donut! When she had to turn away from the window she delegated bus watching to her sister.



Now, if I could just find a way to communicate to Piper I just clean her up because I don't want her neck to smell like a gym bag, not because I'm a jerk.

Tale as old as time

Last night the girls started dancing in the middle of our game of catch. Claire says to Macy, "I'm Beauty, and you're the Beast."

This is where I thought the quality family time would quickly disintegrate into an endless volley of "No, I 'm the Beauty!" that would make me want to whip out my inner beast.

But, Macy paused, and said, "Ok, but I am a NICE beast!"

Didn't see that coming.

River of tears, still flowing

This morning waiting for the bus for Claire's second day of school I still cried, but I think it was less than yesterday, YES! By the end of the week I just might be able to put Claire on the bus without crying.

Claire and Macy were fighting and refusing to eat their Cream of Wheat. I was so ready to put her on that bus. I didn't expect the tears. I am often in denial about my sappiness, though. I have said, "I don't think I am going to cry at this wedding" and been wrong more than once...

For the love of God, please be nice to your sister!

It's been a rough week for me at Chateau Lemke. I got a urinary tract infection. Yeah, too much information, I know. But seriously, haven't I been through enough? In the spirit of TMI, the hemorrhoids from pushing out the 9 pound 3 ounce baby haven't been healed long enough for this to be fair. On top of that, after 5 weeks on a 1,500 calorie diet I have lost one pound. They have ruled out a thyroid problem. The doctor recommended 1,200 calories a day. Someone needs to invent calorie-free beer.

But, the saddest thing of my week was when Claire was mean to her sister. Sure, they bicker over toys incessantly. I am used to this. But, Claire started summer school this week. Maybe that change is throwing her off a bit. I got a glimpse of her nastiness earlier in the week when she was playing with the Nursing Nina cat. Mama cat has magnetic nipples and three little kittens that latch on. Claire had a random orange cat not part of the set. She was telling me the Mama was the Mama, the baby was the baby, and she kind of wondered what the orange cat was. I suggested the orange cat was the older sister. She liked this idea. And then proceeded to have the big sister cat drink all the mama's milk and laugh & tease the baby that she drank all the milk. I don't think you need to be a psychologist to read into that a bit...

So later in the week it's bedtime. Our typical routine of late is Bob puts Claire to bed, and I put Macy to bed at the same time. Claire asked for me. So, I suggested, well, let's read our books together and then separate. Macy loved this idea; Claire not so much. By then, Claire decided she wanted just Bob to read to her and Macy was not invited. Macy was devastated. Sometimes, I think she cries about something when tired and forgets what she is crying about. Not this. She was inconsolable. She was sitting on the rug outside Claire's door crying, crying, crying. She could not be distracted or redirected. Finally, Bob talked Claire into letting Macy in

for the second book - probably because Claire couldn't hear the story over the wailing. Macy was so happy. She hopped into Claire's bed, was all smiles. After the book, she told Claire she loved her and kissed her. Claire didn't reciprocate. It broke my heart seeing Macy swoon all over Claire, and Claire be a jerk. I can't force her to be nice. I just need to keep being nice for an example, but, it's not easy when she acts like a major a-hole.

Macy will be ok. I don't think she noticed the cold shoulder treatment. She was just pumped to read one story with her big sister. And, I have a feeling a little someone will be looking up to Macy with the same reverence....

You gotta keep 'em separated

Yesterday at Play School Macy cried because she couldn't find Claire. Those two are thick as thieves. Right now they are fishing each other in the yard (chasing one another with sticks).

But, I never would have thought the best times happen when the girls are playing quietly in different rooms. Like earlier this morning:

Sister, Sister

Having three kids in the past three and a half years is a bit crazy. Part of my thinking on this was closeness in age might help them get along with each other. Time might just prove me quite wrong on that experiment, but with Claire and Macy only 19 months apart, I didn't want #3 to be so left out just due to her age.

I fully expected Macy to react very negatively at Piper's arrival. Granted, Piper just joined us less than a week and a half ago, but I am THRILLED at the girls' reaction to and treatment of Piper.

When Macy was born, Claire was apathetic to the whole situation. Quite seriously, she was more interested in the helium balloon she and Ga-Ma brought to the hospital. She would want to hold her for about 10 seconds and pretend to eat her the whole time. Then, Claire would push her off her lap.

So, this time around I expected that apathy from Macy. I thought Claire would like Piper at first, but I thought the excitement would go away pretty quickly.

Imagine my elation when, with me all hopped up on just-had-a-baby-hormones, Claire and Macy came to meet Piper and were just enamoured with her. Macy burst in and exclaimed, "she's beautiful!". (Comic sidebar, Macy did keep telling people Piper was a boy, though...) The nurse commented that they were both big sisters now, and Claire and Macy simultaneously thrust both arms in the air for the universal symbol for BIG.

Claire wants to hold Piper for as long as we will let her. I even folded laundry while Claire held her! Any peep out of Piper elicits an "it's ok, baby" from Macy. If Piper isn't being held or worn, the girls are very concerned about where she is. They comment about how soft her hair is. They are sharing my new baby bliss. I am even being careful to give them attention (or probably more honestly, have Bob give them lots of attention).

I was holding Piper putting Macy to sleep, and Macy wanted me to lay next to her. I had Piper between us, and Macy fell asleep. I couldn't believe she didn't feel slighted. And, Piper is a replica of Macy as an infant so it was pretty funny to check out their similarities while they slept.

I know this won't last, but I am just pretty pumped to have given them all something I didn't have - a sister!

In the very least, I can read this and laugh at my naivete while they spend the next 15 years bickering...

My girl wants to party all the time...

I am patting myself on the back for a well-delegated 2nd Birthday Party. I was hesitant to ask my mom to host Macy's birthday party because she tends to go overboard, but showing up to a decorated, clean house for an awesome brunch followed by no clean-up was definitely the way to go when 38 weeks pregnant!

The girls were chanting "party" on the way over, and when we got home they were talking about how much fun they had at that "ball."

While I was brushing my teeth the girls were sitting on the step into the shower (because, Lord knows, I am in a bathroom, they must follow). This was their post-party rehash:

Macy: "I'm sad"

Me: "Why are you sad, because your birthday party is over?"

Macy: "Yeah, I am sad 'cause my birthday is over."

Claire: "Oh, don't worry, we'll get you another one."