Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Sorry girls, but you're being raised by idiots...

I have long thought it is oddly easy to get married and have a baby (well, we are blessed to be uber-fertile folk). I think maybe to get a marriage license you should get a petition of 10 friends or family that think it's a good idea you marry your partner. If you can't find people, maybe you shouldn't get married. When we went to the county courthouse for our marriage license they just asked us about a dozen times if we were cousins. They asked Bob so many times about being married before or currently that I half-jokingly interrogated him afterwards if he had married his Albanian ex-girlfriend and failed to mention it. Then, with the pregnancy stuff the focus is all about pregnancy and labor and delivery. I am all about being educated and informed consent for labor and delivery, but in the grand scheme of child-rearing, that part is a pretty small window. I feel like they show you how to bathe a baby and use a car seat and send you off. I told Bob this time I filled out the birth plan that we'll be giving her her first bath rather than the nurses. If I can't stand up, it's all him. He thinks that I don't let us get our money's worth out of the hospital. He doesn't even want to cut the cord because that's somebody's job. I am sure they won't be laying off nurses for lack of stuff to do...

So, parenthood, yeah, it's like the one gig they can't fire you for gross incompetence. Bob & I are always proving that. Here are two recent entertaining (rather than my-kids-will-be-in-therapy-for-decades) examples:

  1. So today I am logging onto the computer which forced a new password upon us. Since our kids leave us little time to actually communicate with each other from 5-7PM I was guessing what the password was that Bob picked. The computer gave me the hint, "Number 3." I seriously was about to type "tres" thinking that was an odd selection for Bob, and then I remembered I am pregnant with number 3. How would I forget that for a millisecond? Duh. But I am pregnant, that's my excuse for now...
  2. What's Bob excuse? Last week we got Macy's 2-year old pictures taken. I was showing Bob what the photographer had posted on Facebook from the session. He says, "Wow, her eyes almost look blue in this picture!" Ummm, that's because her eyes ARE blue. They have been for the last two years. At least my husband knew babies were born with eyes open, unlike kittens...

But seriously, we may be morons, but do we not make the cutest kids?


  1. So it's a done deal, do you have a Piper? I love that name. But I also still do love Etta. I love that my friends are so good at naming their children.

    It was ridiculous when I was pregnant with Tessa because we were also in the process of buying a house. We NEVER discussed me being pregnant, which I'm sure is common for the 3rd baby. But, I remember getting in a fight with Rusty when I was 38 weeks pregnant because he wanted to put carpeting in the house and I wanted hard wood floors. I was emotional and started crying. I didn't care about the floors, I was just frustrated that at 38 weeks pregnant we STILL weren't talking about the BABY. But obsessing about the house. And I was feeling horribly unprepared!

    Even idiots can raise good children! Just like Amy said, "all it takes love, patience and common sense." And I would like to add, COFFEE. Lots of coffee.

  2. And you do have the cutest kids!! I can't wait to see what sister#3 looks like!

  3. Yeah, Bob has been a bit preoccupied with work. He started the process earlier this school year of getting an emergency license to be a special education teacher. So, he teaches two sections of special ed this semester. And, everyday it's more about the classes for the certification, the test he had to take, who approved this, what the union says about seniority. I know it's all pretty important stuff since he did get his layoff notice for tech ed, this saved his job. Once in awhile I am like, growing baby here!

    We do both like the name Greta and Etta. We just have kind of started using Piper. Greta and Etta are probably a bit more graceful.

  4. I assumed Macy would look like Claire, and I assume #3 will look like Macy.